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Updates

Guess I've forgotten about this little blog of mine for the longest time ever. I'm finally graduated after 4 years of hard work and thank god that I did it with flying colors. I remember how I promised myself to do the best I can when I first stepped into UMP in year 2016. I remember how terrible my STPM result was. I remember all the disappointment on my fam faces. But for now, I really really am super proud of my final result.  Though our batch of graduates most probably will not be having our convocation due to the worsen pandemic, but I've to say I'm proud to meet some of the awesome souls I met in this little place throughout the 4 years time.  I don't know when will we be able to meet or where we'll be meeting. But I promise that I'll be joining or meeting the great souls again whenever I can. Life has changed so much since I was a first year student.  There were people who walked out of my life during the past years but it's okay. There's no h

累得值得吧

有个妹子问我做活动那么忙不累吗 嗯 当然累啊 而且还是超级无敌累 从一早起床睁眼就开始各种忙到三更半夜 早上没课也要特地早起跑办公室 忙到24小时不够用 饭都没时间吃 累到不够睡在班上莫名其妙睡着 忙到生病了也依然撑着处理麻烦 累到回房间以后连讲话的意思都没有 忙到思绪打结不知道应该先要干什么 累到一个点会开始自言自语还语无伦次 然后她又问我 那么忙又那么累 为什么还继续叻 嗯 就因为喜欢啊 所以才会累得值得吧 喜欢筹备活动的时候跟拍档一起努力拼 喜欢忙碌了以后不会觉得自己浪费了生命 喜欢看见各种不同的人事物让自己学习成长 喜欢活动结束了以后那种无法解释的满足感 试问每个办活动的 应该没人会说轻松简单 幸运遇见肯帮助你的人的时候固然好 可是人嘛都总会有不幸运的时候 更何况活动有那么多变数 活动前夕才来找事情刁难的已经是习以为常 没日没夜的一直担心来参加的人数会不达标 安排工作还要被人讨价还价怕死做多了什么 每天起床都担心今天会不会又有什么坏消息 还有什么是可以做多些才能让活动变得更好 当中的问题真的是非常非常的多 可是就只因为一个‘喜欢’ 所以扛下了一个又一个的担子 前几天半夜讨论小组完了以后 我的小拍档陪我走路回去宿舍 走着走着他说我觉得我们的活动可以成功的啦 我们再努力一点搞大它 你看 我们现在每天都早睡早起 早上三点睡 早上七点起 我们那么努力 一定会很好的是不是 我们要再加油 嗯 当然啊 我们撑过了很多问题诶 不好就假的啦 还有几天我们可以的 其实活动会不会成功我真的不知道 我只知道我们做好自己所有该做的就好了 剩下的交给命运交给上天 以前我也总觉得成果最重要 现在我会觉得过程更为重要 而成果只是你付出了以后回报的果实 真的没能奢望成果可以很惊人 哪怕有预想的一半就很好了吧 现在只希望一切都顺顺利利结束 对我们来说就是最好的果实 但愿所有正在努力筹备活动往前冲的每一个你 再坚持一下就好 加油 💪🏻❤

Letter to Self

Dear self, Let's recap about your life? You were born in 7th September 1996. You were brought to this lovely awesome family and having an elder brother and an elder sister. The big family of yours has started to love you since then. Even though you can't really recalled back to those memories when you were young, but always remember that your family tolerated all your shits and let you to grow into who you are today. Times flies and you were in primary school. You were such a bad kid that you fought with demn guys since year one. Lucky that two turns into your friends now instead of enemy. Then you grown into year 5 kid. When the whole world thought you were one of the best students and had trusted you so much, you 'surprised' them by not doing all the homework for every subjects for half a year. You were being loved by not having any punishments but to finish them all in a week time but you did hurt all of them so badly. You were so sorry and managed to get good gra

遗憾

很难开口诉说的一段往事 故事已经发生一段时间了 怪我当时没勇气说再加上断断续续的用了很长时间才把故事再完整的写出来... 当时的不果断已经成了在学校里的其中一个遗憾 现在选择说出来不是为了要接受同情的眼光还是被戴有色眼镜的看待 只是想要在给自己的期限结束以前 能够更勇敢的面对过去不好的事 最重要的还是谢谢那些一直在身边爱我保护我鼓励我的人 这事情发生在大一的第二个学期 有一科的教授-姑且叫他D吧 D总是很喜欢在班上调侃我 说着我的头发多长多漂亮 眼睛多大多好看好像在勾引他之类的话 基本上每一堂课我都逃不了被当众调侃的命运 可是介于他是教授而且发生在班上 即使不舒服也还是尽可能把它当作玩笑话的笑着带过又或者严重点的面无表情 或许是一开始的不反抗才会让后来的事情发生吧 大学科目繁忙 很多时候靠近大考了都会有学生去问老师还是教授有没有什么重点章节是需要特别注意的 而正是这个时候让我开始体会阴影的存在 因为在班上被调侃的次数真的太多 朋友都会开玩笑的说 “欸 大考靠你咯 你去问下哪里是特别需要注意的嘛 教授那么喜欢你一定会跟你说的” 其实朋友之间的玩笑真的没有怎样 更何况帮到大家的话 应该还好吧 有着这样的心态 傻傻的就和系友们去了D的办公室 由于D有着特别的职位 所以他的办公室和我系里面其他教授的房间不一样 不在同一栋大楼里 只有他一间房间 然后外面坐着的都是普通职员 那天下午见D的时候 他说着有多么的不满意我的小考分数 (48/60 其实蛮不错了吧) 假装的拿藤条就往我屁股上打 当然我闪开了 后来在他经过身边的时候 我们礼貌地站起来让他走过 那一次他很快速的搂了我的肩膀 嘴里说着我的身高相配之类的话 然后就出去拿东西了 后来他回来了会总不经意的摩擦到我的手臂 一轮闪躲以后我们终于离开了他的办公室 离开的时候我傻了看着我的系友们 可是大家也没说些什么 就当自己多想了回到自己的房间 一个星期以后咱们一大班男男女女一起去见了D 这一次我坐在了他面前就未免他经过的时候会动到我 问了一大堆话以后 他理所当然的没说什么重点 在走之前他把我留下了 而我的系友兼当时的室友依然陪着我 D和我说“亲爱的你若要我帮你 明天再来吧 刚才太多人我没办法帮忙” 更在临走之前要了我的电话号码 因为在他的一些职员面前 我没办法也不知道应该怎么拒绝所以我给了 第二天早上上完课以后 一个陌生的号码

久违更新

好久都没更新了 继一年多以后再次回到这里 曾几何时放弃了记录生活的这里 说不忙好像说不过 可说忙吗其实也还好 在大学的第二年第二个学期就放弃了拿学校的活动筹委一职 曾经有个学长跟我说 ‘妹妹看好你可以做到很好 华人的活动本来就很少人有冲劲了 很多只为了拿而拿 所以答应我 你要保持当初拿活动的心 遇到问题了可以找我 帮得到的我一定会帮你 只要你的心和火不灭’ 当时听了真的真的很感动 可是对他有着愧疚的心 因为我放弃了 放弃以前我们是多么努力多么用心的在拼 找到了所有相关团体 找到各个不同种族小组的负责人 搭好了沟通的桥梁 却因为一个诽谤 所有心思化为乌有 莫名被判了死刑 我们又能怎样呢 所谓的公平竞争也不公平了 我们还拿什么去拼?心中的那团火早在那时候被灭的烟消云散 后来的弟弟妹妹们也有来询问为什么 为了避免争执 我只说是我们累了 可是原因嘛心里知道就好 就鸡掰的当作是我们潇洒呗 背后的异议和指责依然有 可是凡人嘛 终究是会烦的 总喜欢找八卦聊 可是你管不了别人的嘴 所以任由背后的舆论乱飞口水乱吐 我们依然过得很好 时不时一通电话说要吃饭就走 很庆幸大学里还有这几个老板们那么照顾我 时常照顾着我的胃 还说一大堆没用的干话 可是我喜欢和他们的相处模式 不需要顾忌着什么 因为底线在哪里 我们心照不宣 只要不过线就没问题的任你疯 谢谢你们成全了我很多次的说走就走 不管是晚餐还是旅行 另外 在上个星期 我最爱的那一班傻逼哥哥姐姐们毕业了 天知道自己在房间的时候哭的像什么 其实内心很复杂 毕业了我当然为你们感到开心 可是不舍的心情依然不减 因为活动我认识了这班无时无刻都在照顾我的人们 照顾着我的生活我的饮食我的健康我的心情我的娱乐我的所有所有 真的 我是如此平凡却又是如此幸运 能遇见你们 虽然嘴里有时候说的话别人会觉得很难听 可是心里面却是暖暖的 因为你们 我学会了很多课本没教的 踏入社会以后的待人处事 被欺负了帮我出头 被指责了来安慰我 有事情了帮我想办法 有压力了带我解压 有烦恼了要开导我 头痛胃痛犯了要照顾我 还连拉带逼的带我身体检查 很多人说上天派你到那间学校就注定那里有你该遇见的人 来到这里我最骄傲的就是有着你们 我很爱很爱的你们 以后会更难约见面 即便如此别把我们的小组忘了好吗 答应了不让你们丢脸 不让你们担心的 我会很努力撑着让自己活得好好的 再让你们两年后骄

Friend.

Sometimes I wonder how do we (or maybe myself) define friends. Is it someone who helps you when you ask (or not) for their help? Is it someone who listens to your problems / complaints and give you advice? Is it someone who treats you wholeheartedly? Is it someone who can be trusted in all sorts of matter? Is it someone who will not betray no matter how bad the situation is? Well, I think everything mentioned above is what people really looking for in their friends. But I also think that the most important thing is that they never leave you. I mean yes, sometimes people does not stay in your life forever, everyone has their own life to live. But hey, would you really want someone to go through everything in your life, staying by your side through think and thin but then suddenly gone? Gotta admit that I'm kind of a person who will think a lot in most of the things or maybe everything I would say. Overthinking is really a common stuffs for me. And it hurts to say that I p

Late CNY Post

Well hello, finally get to update here again. Hmm you know finals, dramas and all but hey, I'm back again! So I've a feeling that this will be a kinda long post so bare with me okay? :) First of all, let's go back to March where it happened to be the second event I joined - CNY. Well yeap indeed it means Chinese New Year but as the uni was still in semester break during the real CNY so we had it slightly later than it was and here is how it goes. This time I was joining Publicity Team where I supposed I had experienced the most ever since high school. Honestly saying, my team is indeed absolutely bunch of crazy people HAHAHAHA but I was so proud to be in this team! *Skipped all grandma stories* Will never forget all the crazy moments we had together. Avoiding dogs and walking through almost the whole Gambang area under the hot sun knocking door-to-door to sell our tickets. Supporting each other while selling tickets in Taman Tas, Pekan & Kuantan area. Laughing and

1st Event Committee - Winter Solstice Programme Team

Holla cookies!! It's been quite some time since the last time I updated here. But hey here I come again so stay with me aite?! So my first semester had officially ended 3 days ago! Finals done so it means its HOLIDAYYY!!! I'm pretty excited bout it since CNY is coming but it also kinda scares me off thinking 2nd semester is coming after CNY hmmmm~~~ Anyway so here what happened in this one semester :) Throwback to the mid sem 1, I went for an interview to try my luck! It's for the Winter Solstice Dinner event on past December & pretty lucky that I got into the Programme Team! So basically what we did were to plan the 'show' & performance carried out that night & there goes my a lot of first time hahahahhaha First time writing a script for a drama (even though its not by me alone but I'm sure I did learn something from that) First time training the actors & actresses every single night First time mamak with my programme team family even tho

写给自己的一段话

在不少人的眼里 我就是个爱玩爱闹的小屁孩 整天只会往外跑 也不用功读书 那大学的位子也只能说是幸运拿到的其实个人认为根本不够格 我爱玩爱闹爱往外跑爱到处溜达爱结交朋友 我读书不聪明 又或者说我不是可以乖乖坐在书桌前每天温习的人 考试我也时常临时抱佛脚 我习惯半夜复习 这样我才能专心 我也承认这大学通知令我吓一大跳 早已对我那中六超烂的成绩感到死心 一边找工一边找私立大学 可是很幸运的收到本地大学录取通知 我知道也许会有人批评 "哼你看又在炫" "她其实不够格吧" 对啊 你们说的这些我都想过 可是我因为这些所谓的小事失眠了两个月 你们知道吗 我哭到累了才能睡着 你们知道吗 我压抑这些所谓小事在人前表现如往常疯癫开朗 你们又知道吗 我没有要埋怨什么 只是我想说 你没有体验过我体验的 你凭什么说我呢  那一阵子我好怕 怕父母亲失望 怕哥哥姐姐指责 怕亲戚嘲笑 怕朋友讽刺 怕同事询问 我唯一能让自己逃脱的方式就是躲在家 不升学不工作 可是换来的多数也是被指责 在家浪费时间 两个月 不长也不短 却也让我看清了谁才是真正一世的朋友 即使累趴了也坚决不睡陪我聊天陪我到处找庙里去拜拜的亲爱的傻妹子 载我到处玩用即使有点严厉却也温柔的语气唠叨我的傻子 嘴里骂我却真为我感到心疼的宝贝 特地为我寻找如何治疗失眠方法的呆猴子  一群一起疯癫一起玩闹的傻子们 还有几个神经的疯子 那么疼我爱我包容我的亲爱的你们 感谢你们的关心 你们的开导 你们的陪伴 即使和你们其中的不少人认识的时间只有一两年 可是我真的真的很感谢有你们出现在我20岁的生涯里 在你们身边无时无刻都能感觉到温暖感到快乐 天知道我有多感激认识你们这班疯子 收到录取通知的那刹那 除了惊喜高兴幸运以外 多的更是担心害怕 我怕是系统错误一场欢喜一场空 再三确认以后才放下心来狠狠的把两个月的不安哭出来 打电话给妈妈报告的时候哭得话也说不出口 只想说 爸妈 让你们担心了 我这小屁孩要乖乖回去读书了 我会好好加油的 别担心了哦 报道当天去往大学的路上 我看着窗外 默默在心里答应自己 要好好加油 别让人失望了 今天就是大学生涯的开始 4年后 要学成归来 我不奢望拿到最好的成绩 我只盼自己能够好好努力 付出的成果有回报就好 现在在这里已经3个月了 可以形容我的日子的除了忙

160916

Holla all my fellow cookies :) I know I've been left here for quite some time but yea here am I again. I gotta said that I've been facing some stress back then but thank God I gt over it. People gonna ask what are you stressing for? Just enjoy life la chill out everything's gonna be fine & blablablabla Yea I understand everything that you all tried to tell me & if its happening on someone else, I'll definitely able to say all this too. But its not when you're the one going through it. So back to few months ago when I gt my shitty STPM result. Honestly when everybody thought that I'm pretty fine looking at the outside, still joking around & telling those who's so sad for their result that everything gonna be alright, I bet only God knows I'm dying inside. The result was so shitty that even my sis kinda scolded me a little. & yea even I myself blamed me too. I can just said that I really really did try my best but people just dont be