Letter to Self
Dear self,
Let's recap about your life?
You were born in 7th September 1996. You were brought to this lovely awesome family and having an elder brother and an elder sister. The big family of yours has started to love you since then. Even though you can't really recalled back to those memories when you were young, but always remember that your family tolerated all your shits and let you to grow into who you are today.
Times flies and you were in primary school. You were such a bad kid that you fought with demn guys since year one. Lucky that two turns into your friends now instead of enemy. Then you grown into year 5 kid. When the whole world thought you were one of the best students and had trusted you so much, you 'surprised' them by not doing all the homework for every subjects for half a year. You were being loved by not having any punishments but to finish them all in a week time but you did hurt all of them so badly. You were so sorry and managed to get good grades for UPSR in year 6 and teachers were proud of you.
When high school was started, you managed to get some girls as your besties gang. Well even though there were arguments but you girls overcame it and even though you girls weren't that close as used to be, but you were always the best for everyone. You had your one and only darling in form 3 time and she has been there for you since then. In form 4, you were forced to separate with your girls to the other class and you were so sad you cried so badly begging teacher to let you stay. But dear Mdm Rohana, even though its a low chance that you will be reading this, I hope you know how much this girl appreciated about your decision because changing to the class with the monkey gang is still one of the best things happened to her.
Dear you, you have changed a lot since then. You've laughed more, learned to share more and spreading more positive vibes than ever. You were always being pointed to join for performance with the monkeys during assembly and you had so much fun. Even though you felt disappointed for your SPM results, but girl you knew you already did your best for it.
Fast forward to the time you had to go for National Service, you refused to go initially but then mummy wanted you to go so badly and you went eventually. You thought you would hate it there but it turns out to be one of your best memories. You had been through so much in the camp and even had heartbreak but its okay because you are doing fine right now. You then chose to go for form 6 which you initially didn't want to because all the monkeys aren't going for it. But you managed to survive from it with whole bunch of potatoes. They turn out to be another wonderful gang of yours and having annual gatherings. You went to trips with them and made awesome memories with them.
When the result of STPM was released, you were showing your strong side and calming others telling it'll be fine but deep down you were just too shocked and down to response to your awful worst result you got in life. You had whole six months of dark life and your sleeping problem got so much more worse than it used to be. You started to wonder what can you do in life to make this okay but you can't figure out anything. You thought its better to leave the world than staying like this feeling like you let the whole world down. You were too sad that you forgot you still have your lovely family and friends around. It was on time that your potatoes decided to have another trip before the uni result release. It turns out to be your life saving trip and your potato fulfilled your wish to go for all the temples you want because she knew it would makes you feel better. You prayed to God hoping all this dark days will be gone soon because meeting with your friends have changed your mind on giving up your life.
It was the day and you were so nervous to check for the result. Server was down due to too many people logging in to check at the same time. You then decided to try your luck by texting to the official web. You were waiting for reply half hopefully and half hopelessly, the 10 minutes was so hard for you to put your mind together and finally you got reply from the website. It stated congratulations and you were chosen by UMP to continue your studies, it was your seventh choice out of twelve of them. Your hand was shaking and your got teary eyes. You were so scared it was an error from the website and you double triple check and finally able to log in into the website. You were so happy no words can describe your feelings and you screamed at home. Granny was shocked and asked if you were fine. You got too overwhelmed you told her how happy you are and finally got into in, she was so happy for you. You immediately ran to the bedroom to call mummy but all you can do was cried and not able to say a word. Mummy was shocked trying to ask what happened and you finally get to tell by half mumbling while crying. She cried over the phone and when you thought you wanted to hang up and called daddy to tell him bout the news, you heard him over the phone saying he was beside and was proud of you. You then cried again and the whole crying thing lasted for almost two hours but you just couldn't expressed how lucky you felt. Things started to be busy as you were preparing everything for the starting of your uni life.
Remember the day when you left home you quietly made promised in your heart that in 4 years of your degree life, you will come back even stronger. You will do your very best to make your family even more prouder than they were back then. It has been years gone and you are now at the end of your first semester in third year life. You were doing all great besides almost having argues with your coursemates because of both frustrating. But its okay because you learned to say sorry about it and being friends again. You are having a lot of stress for the finals this semester. 5 papers and you are so stressed out because of result dropping last semester. But baby girl, just keep on reminding yourself to be relax from time to time. Don't get too stress out and forgot to rest when you should. You know you had problem of having heartache since semesters ago. You need to chill yourself down and give some time for yourself to get all the rest time your body deserved.
In the end of this, I would like to tell you this. Your life had been through a lot of ups and downs. You even had some heartbreaks in between the stories that hadn't been listed out because I hope you forget about those and knowing you deserved someone else that loves you unconditionally. And also sorry that I didn't prioritize you enough. Sorry for not taking enough rest as you deserved. Sorry for always being tired. Sorry that I didn't take good care of you and having lots of time of being not feeling well. Sorry that I let you cried in the midnight and tried not to make a sound of it. Sorry that I didn't love you much more than I should. Sorry for letting you to be me in this kind of version.
2019, you are turning 23. I hope you will grow into a better person and enjoy all the good times you deserved to have, having your lovely family around you, being loved by person who will accept you for you are, surround by friends that never walk away from you during your bad times and share your good times with.
Dear self, I hope you will be doing just fine or just even better than you were from the past 22 years. I hope you will learn to love and prioritize yourself more than anybody else.
Lots of love, you.
Let's recap about your life?
You were born in 7th September 1996. You were brought to this lovely awesome family and having an elder brother and an elder sister. The big family of yours has started to love you since then. Even though you can't really recalled back to those memories when you were young, but always remember that your family tolerated all your shits and let you to grow into who you are today.
Times flies and you were in primary school. You were such a bad kid that you fought with demn guys since year one. Lucky that two turns into your friends now instead of enemy. Then you grown into year 5 kid. When the whole world thought you were one of the best students and had trusted you so much, you 'surprised' them by not doing all the homework for every subjects for half a year. You were being loved by not having any punishments but to finish them all in a week time but you did hurt all of them so badly. You were so sorry and managed to get good grades for UPSR in year 6 and teachers were proud of you.
When high school was started, you managed to get some girls as your besties gang. Well even though there were arguments but you girls overcame it and even though you girls weren't that close as used to be, but you were always the best for everyone. You had your one and only darling in form 3 time and she has been there for you since then. In form 4, you were forced to separate with your girls to the other class and you were so sad you cried so badly begging teacher to let you stay. But dear Mdm Rohana, even though its a low chance that you will be reading this, I hope you know how much this girl appreciated about your decision because changing to the class with the monkey gang is still one of the best things happened to her.
Dear you, you have changed a lot since then. You've laughed more, learned to share more and spreading more positive vibes than ever. You were always being pointed to join for performance with the monkeys during assembly and you had so much fun. Even though you felt disappointed for your SPM results, but girl you knew you already did your best for it.
Fast forward to the time you had to go for National Service, you refused to go initially but then mummy wanted you to go so badly and you went eventually. You thought you would hate it there but it turns out to be one of your best memories. You had been through so much in the camp and even had heartbreak but its okay because you are doing fine right now. You then chose to go for form 6 which you initially didn't want to because all the monkeys aren't going for it. But you managed to survive from it with whole bunch of potatoes. They turn out to be another wonderful gang of yours and having annual gatherings. You went to trips with them and made awesome memories with them.
When the result of STPM was released, you were showing your strong side and calming others telling it'll be fine but deep down you were just too shocked and down to response to your awful worst result you got in life. You had whole six months of dark life and your sleeping problem got so much more worse than it used to be. You started to wonder what can you do in life to make this okay but you can't figure out anything. You thought its better to leave the world than staying like this feeling like you let the whole world down. You were too sad that you forgot you still have your lovely family and friends around. It was on time that your potatoes decided to have another trip before the uni result release. It turns out to be your life saving trip and your potato fulfilled your wish to go for all the temples you want because she knew it would makes you feel better. You prayed to God hoping all this dark days will be gone soon because meeting with your friends have changed your mind on giving up your life.
It was the day and you were so nervous to check for the result. Server was down due to too many people logging in to check at the same time. You then decided to try your luck by texting to the official web. You were waiting for reply half hopefully and half hopelessly, the 10 minutes was so hard for you to put your mind together and finally you got reply from the website. It stated congratulations and you were chosen by UMP to continue your studies, it was your seventh choice out of twelve of them. Your hand was shaking and your got teary eyes. You were so scared it was an error from the website and you double triple check and finally able to log in into the website. You were so happy no words can describe your feelings and you screamed at home. Granny was shocked and asked if you were fine. You got too overwhelmed you told her how happy you are and finally got into in, she was so happy for you. You immediately ran to the bedroom to call mummy but all you can do was cried and not able to say a word. Mummy was shocked trying to ask what happened and you finally get to tell by half mumbling while crying. She cried over the phone and when you thought you wanted to hang up and called daddy to tell him bout the news, you heard him over the phone saying he was beside and was proud of you. You then cried again and the whole crying thing lasted for almost two hours but you just couldn't expressed how lucky you felt. Things started to be busy as you were preparing everything for the starting of your uni life.
Remember the day when you left home you quietly made promised in your heart that in 4 years of your degree life, you will come back even stronger. You will do your very best to make your family even more prouder than they were back then. It has been years gone and you are now at the end of your first semester in third year life. You were doing all great besides almost having argues with your coursemates because of both frustrating. But its okay because you learned to say sorry about it and being friends again. You are having a lot of stress for the finals this semester. 5 papers and you are so stressed out because of result dropping last semester. But baby girl, just keep on reminding yourself to be relax from time to time. Don't get too stress out and forgot to rest when you should. You know you had problem of having heartache since semesters ago. You need to chill yourself down and give some time for yourself to get all the rest time your body deserved.
In the end of this, I would like to tell you this. Your life had been through a lot of ups and downs. You even had some heartbreaks in between the stories that hadn't been listed out because I hope you forget about those and knowing you deserved someone else that loves you unconditionally. And also sorry that I didn't prioritize you enough. Sorry for not taking enough rest as you deserved. Sorry for always being tired. Sorry that I didn't take good care of you and having lots of time of being not feeling well. Sorry that I let you cried in the midnight and tried not to make a sound of it. Sorry that I didn't love you much more than I should. Sorry for letting you to be me in this kind of version.
2019, you are turning 23. I hope you will grow into a better person and enjoy all the good times you deserved to have, having your lovely family around you, being loved by person who will accept you for you are, surround by friends that never walk away from you during your bad times and share your good times with.
Dear self, I hope you will be doing just fine or just even better than you were from the past 22 years. I hope you will learn to love and prioritize yourself more than anybody else.
Lots of love, you.